“Gm everyone -
Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on life at the Oxford household.
I’m finally doing the thing! Active labor. Soon we will be welcoming our first son.”
→ Started writing at 5:03 AM March 6, 2023.
→ Last edited 11:04 AM March 6, 2023.
This is all I got to write before I started feeling contractions and I needed to focus on breathing and the delivery of my son!
Little did I know my labor would end up lasting 21 hours… 😅
I know I said I would share my birth story with you guys much sooner, but I honestly felt wrong to share…
I don’t want anyone to read my post/experience and think I’m fear-mongering or pandering to a certain way to “do it” (give birth) because however you birth is up to you & the people delivering your baby. It’s not my business! I’m not here to persuade or steer anyone in one direction, just simply share my experience.
My Ideal Plan vs Reality
Alright, so I wanted to share my experience with you all to explain just how quickly things can change and why it’s necessary to be flexible with the “plans” we make.
I wanted a natural (non-medicated) birth from the start, I wanted to deliver vaginally, and I wanted to change positions as much as possible during my labor, walk around, shower, exercise, do whatever I could to birth naturally etc., etc. EVERY little detail was noted—to put it plainly, I had a very ideal plan for my birth in mind, but things changed in the blink of an eye. (Sry 4 the cliche quote).
I did all of the above (minus the shower), but none of it helped me achieve my “ideal” birth plan in the end. Sometimes that’s just how it goes.
Why a C-Section?
There were a number of reasons why I needed an emergency Cesarean (I didn’t actually “choose it”):
The positioning of my son. → He never shifted into the proper position to fit through my birth canal. We tried multiple positions and the little guy just did not want to move!
He stubbornly decided “I’ll just stay right here” and never descended even though I was dilated 10cm for quite some time.
With each contraction I had, his heart rate would drop (even before getting the epidural—I ended up getting it around the 16-hour mark), and my blood pressure kept plummeting…
This little guy had his umbilical cord wrapped around himself (thankfully not his neck, but it was still compromising if he attempted exiting vaginally).
At the moment I could choose between vacuuming him out (with 30% chance of success and if that didn't work, C-section anyway) OR an emergency C-section (with a 90% chance of success). I went with the obvious because I kept checking my blood pressure & his heartbeat and realized if I was saving my son, I was having a C-section.
At one point they even asked Dad “Mom or baby?” Of course, I told him if this came up, choose our son. (I think they have to ask everyone regardless 🤷🏼♀️). I won’t get into this choice or my stance on it (I’ve seen a lot of mom-shaming lately - if this is you stop doing that!)
I was perfectly healthy my entire pregnancy. I never had a real issue during any of my checkups (though we got the run around twice but those ended up being nothing), and overall he was on track for a healthy natural birth up until the 21st hour of my labor. So really no one could’ve predicted this outcome.
Needless to say, I’m glad I was in a hospital instead of having an at-home birth. I’m not saying either way is better than the other—we all have our preferences, but I don’t think my experience (the outcome) would’ve been any different if I were in a different environment.
Words of Advice (but seriously no pressure…)
If you plan on having a hospital birth I highly recommend you take and use everything the doctors and nurses give you.
You will need all of these supplies (more than likely - I used everything they provided until it all ran out). (Things like pads, peri bottle, pump wash bucket, etc. → for baby: bottles, diapers, petroleum jelly, wipes, etc.)
→ Take advantage of everything because when you leave that hospital, it’s just you, your baby, and your husband. The first store run takes about 30 minutes-1 hour to prepare for if you’re anything like us. 😆 Pretty sure all first-time parents overthink it!
→ Send your baby to the nursery. You’re gonna want (and appreciate) the extra sleep and you will regret not getting that extra sleep the minute you bring your little bundle home. The first time is a little hard (trust me I know, I hesitated, but I totally needed that extra sleep). Your baby is in trusted hands and is being taken care of by people who really care about the well-being, happiness, and comfort of your baby.
→ Take advantage of all the additional help → lactation nurses, pelvic floor specialists, pediatricians, nursery nurses, all of them! They are there to do a job and they actually want to be there for you and help you (and your baby)!
→ Be patient with yourself. If things aren’t going as you hoped, don’t feel bad about it. Sure, I was bummed I wasn’t having a natural birth (at the time I felt like a failure and like I cheated, but plz plz plz don’t do this because this is not true). I was happy my son was coming into this world alive and his mother would be there to raise him alongside his father. Nothing is more important than his health and well-being. I will gladly wear this scar because it saved his life and mine.
Closing
I have a new respect for hospitals and certain healthcare professionals (there are still some questionable people out there, don’t get me wrong, but there are also some really great people out there who belong in their professions).
I think it definitely takes some vetting and doing your homework when finding the right place to give birth (or just receive care in general). More importantly, finding people to trust with your life (and baby’s life).
I mean that's really true for anything concerning your health. You should always find people you can count on to get the job done, as safely as possible.
Anyway, I am here for any questions/comments.
Cheers.
#WAGMI
Your friend,
- BowTiedHeifer
Disclaimer
I am not a licensed personal trainer or pre/postnatal specialist—these are simply my personal experiences and things I have witnessed to work for many others. This is not legal, medical or financial advice. Please speak to a professional before starting any new programs, applying any new diet plans, or supplement protocols.